The Adult Edition


Nicknamed Downward Dog,
cause her pussy smells like a
hippie’s yoga mat.

What bait do you use?

You don’t really know
someone until you know what
their fingers smell like.

Not on the glasses.

Who’s dick do I have
to suck to get a mouthful
of cum around here?!?

Pick of the litter.

The best part about
fucking kittens is that they’re
tighter than puppies.

Elevation has reached 5280 ft…

The pilot’s in the
cockpit.  He’s not flying, that’s
what I call my mouth.

Hit it.

My pussy is like
a harp seal pup.  Cute, white and
about to get clubbed.

Talk to the hand.

Helen Keller- hot,
but even though she’s deaf, dumb
and blind, it’s still rape.

It was a frothy mixer.

Went to a rally
for Santorum, and now my
top lip smells like shit.

Food porn.

I will totally
swallow, but you have to tell
me it’s donut glaze.

You should really call her.

Found corn in my shit.
Weird. The only thing I’ve been
eating is your mom.

True story. Apologies to anyone seated near me while I was writing this haiku.

Its hot in my pants.
Not hot like sexy hot, it’s
hot like trapped gas hot.

You know Carol was all up on the bean.

Who else jilled off when
Ron Paul told Romney he was
nibbling at his heels?

The whole chain gang is invited.

Single White Female
seeking recent parolee.
Show me what you learned. 

He’ll be cumin’ round the mountain when he cums…

Her upper pussy
is so fat (how fat is it?)
so fat, dicks need maps.

Famous in Oakland. (For my haiku… yeah… my haiku…)

What makes my pussy
and the bat signal the same?
They both call Dark Knights.